format
this playlist of posts is now set to shuffle.
i save the entries to my hard drive as i write them, and i post them when i feel it appropriate -- not necessarily in the order they were written.
the result, dear reader, is intended to entertain and confuse you.
get fucked.
i mean, thank you.
new and improved
We're coming up on New Year's so, ah, time to start making false promises to yourself.
Last year I don't believe I made any resolutions. Instead I loudly declared "this year better not suck!"
I guess somebody heard me, because the Chinese determined that 2005 was to be my year, The Year of the Cock. They proudly certified it with a zodiac placemat, which I magneted to my refrigerator to make it official. The placemat lived up to its word as the year proved not only to be favorable for me, but also to give a quite literal interpretation of the name.
Before that, I think I just had a New Year's mantra.
I don't really remember. I was too busy drinking campange in a hot-tub full of girls. I think I must have used up all of 2004's good fortune shortly after midnight.
God, I hope next year is the year of the cat.
The point is I don't typically make a bunch of resolutions at New Year's.
The best I ever do is a New Year's philosophy.
This year I'm trying something new: the New Year's cleaning.
Its kind of like when you stop at the gas station to fill up, and something inspires to finally pick up all the empty McDonald's bags and 20 oz Tahitian Treat bottles that are carpeting the floor of the back seat and throw them in that trash can next to the pump. You've been putting it off for so long that when you finally just do it you're surprised at how easy it was.
Well, ok, New Year's is gonna be the gas station, and like, that car is me. And the trash in the car -- in me -- is all the stupid stuff I still do. And me, i'm like me cleaning me. Yeah. Think about that. And the trash can... and the gas pump... well... ... ok look, I really don't have the attention span to keep this up, alright? Either you get it by now or you don't.
Anyway, I think its really time to clean out all the crap before I even think about adding something new.
Hey, maybe this site could be the trash can.
Yeah. Yeah, that would work.
Its already full of my garbage.
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